Why You Should Think Twice Before Giving a Dog as a Gift

In this article:

• Should I give a dog as a gift?
• What questions should I ask before giving a dog as a gift?
• What are reasons not to give a dog as a gift?
• How do I pick a dog to give as a gift?
• What gifts can I give a person who’s getting a new dog?
• What gifts can I give a dog-lover who’s not ready for a dog?

In my twenties, I brought a bouquet of flowers to a dinner party. To me, this gesture said, “Thanks for hosting; you deserve a little whimsy.” The host saw it differently. She made a big show about not being able to find a vase. After searching for a while, she said, “Sorry; they’ll have to just go in a cup.”

It turned out I hadn’t given her a gift. I’d given her a burden, another task to complete as she prepared a multi-course dinner for ten guests. I think about that experience when I think about people giving dogs as gifts. Much like flowers, pets need a place to go and feeding and watering. Unlike flowers, pets need a place to go and feeding and watering for, hopefully, years to come. Also, they poop.

Should I give a dog as a gift?

You shouldn’t give a dog as a surprise gift. But that doesn’t mean you can’t give a dog as a gift to someone who wants and is ready to care for one, as long as they’re aware that the dog is coming.

Any dog owner will tell you that dogs are worth the work. But one does need to be ready, willing, and able to do that work. Because of this, one might assume that dogs given as gifts around the holidays are returned to shelters more often than others—the fear being that the gifter overestimates the giftee’s ability to care for a living creature. 

Luckily, that concern doesn’t bear out in the data. An ASPCA survey did not find a correlation between gifted dogs and returns to shelters, and research on the subject actually found that dogs given as gifts are relinquished less frequently than those acquired by an individual. For that reason, the ASPCA doesn’t have an official stance against giving pets as gifts—with important caveats detailed below.

Here’s the most important thing to remember: “Gift” does not necessarily mean “surprise.” And years of responsibility for a living, breathing animal should never be a surprise. So anyone hoping to give the gift of a dog should ask several questions about the potential giftee’s situation, and at minimum have a serious talk with them about the prospect of caring for another creature. 

What questions should I ask before giving a dog as a gift?

With help from the Best Friends Society, Animal Humane Society, and ASPCA, I compiled a list of questions to ask before getting a dog for another person: 

1. Are you positive that this person wants a dog? 
2. Is this person prepared and able to care for a dog? 
3. Is the environment where they live safe for a dog? 
4. Can this person afford the ongoing care of a dog—in terms of both the time commitment and expense? 
5. Do you have a backup plan for the dog’s care if anything should go awry? Meaning: Are you prepared to take on the responsibility of caring for this dog in the event that the giftee changes their mind about wanting a dog at any time in the dog’s life, or this person’s circumstances change?

What if I answered “no” to any of these questions? 

If you answered “no” or “I don’t know” to any of the questions above, then you shouldn’t give this person a dog. 

Dogs are in need of homes all year ‘round, so we don’t want to discourage adoptions during the holidays. But you should have a conversation—or, even better, many conversations!—with this person about the prospect of taking care of a dog ahead of the gift-giving moment.

And, perhaps obviously, if the dog is intended for your minor child then you should be asking these questions of yourself, since ultimately you’ll be responsible for the dog. Kate Anderson, veterinarian, board-certified behaviorist, and Assistant Clinical Professor at the Cornell Duffield Institute for Animal Behavior, who does not recommend giving a pet as a gift at all, would make an exception for kids as long as parents are the true owners. “While children can certainly benefit from having a pet,” she said, “I don’t think anyone should ‘gift’ a pet to a child except perhaps someone in their household who is willing to take full responsibility for the pet.”

No matter how much your kid insists that they’re going to walk and feed the dog, you should assume that exercise, training, food, and vet visits will be up to you.

What if I answered “yes” to all of these questions? 

If you answered “yes” to all of these questions, then there are still a few more queries to ask yourself about this gift. 

1. Which dog is right for this person? 
2. Are there other animals in the household?
3. Are there children in the household? 

No matter what time of year a person is bringing home a dog, lifestyle is an important consideration, according to Julie Castle, CEO of Best Friends Animal Society. “For example,” she wrote Digest in an email, “someone with young kids might want a mellow adult dog, while a person who loves outdoor adventure might be a great fit for a younger, high-energy dog. For those with a low-key lifestyle, a senior dog could be a perfect companion.” 

The gifter and the giftee don’t have to figure this out alone. “Adoption counselors and shelter staff can share valuable information about pets’ backgrounds and help find a great match,” Castle said. Many dogs are tested for compatibility with kids and other animals, so all involved can partner up with adoption counselors to find the right fit.

Remember, this dog will be the person’s constant companion, roommate, and ward. The giftee should really have a hand in deciding what kind of dog is right for them. 

A better idea: Everything but the dog 

So: You may not get the puppy-in-basket moment, but an option that’s likely best for all involved is to go with your loved one to choose the dog from a local rescue or shelter. This way, you’re giving the gift but not surprising someone with years of responsibility for a living, breathing, peeing being with feelings.

As Castle pointed out, there are still ways to make this feel more like a holiday gift. “To make it extra memorable,” she suggested, “wrap the gift certificate with new pet essentials.”

You can still pay for the adoption fee, any vaccinations/neutering fees, and supplies like bed, crate, toys, leash, tags, harnesses, food and water bowls, as well as fresh food (Something to think about: subscribers to The Farmer’s Dog can gift a free box of food to new customers).

When a dog isn’t in the cards this year 

If your intended gift recipient loves dogs, but isn’t ready to care for one, you still have a lot of options as the holidays roll around. You can, Castle said, donate to a local shelter or rescue group in the giftee’s name.

And if a person on your list has expressed interest in dog parenting, but is still hesitant, encourage them to foster. “Fostering provides a great opportunity to try out pet ownership without jumping all the way in,” Castle said. “Fostering can be short-term or long-term, and typically comes at no cost. Most shelters and rescue groups, including Best Friends locations nationwide, offer foster programs that provide food, supplies, and veterinary care while foster volunteers provide a loving home.”   

All dogs are a gift, but they shouldn’t necessarily be given as such. It’s a beautiful impulse that especially tugs at the heartstrings around the holidays—but any adoption should be approached with clear intentions and a strong sense that the adopter can give their new best friend the life they deserve.